saw my people on Sunday

Today I imagined what would happen,
If I turned around and walked back in the door.
Because I don’t want to be who I am alone.

To know that I am not a failure. To value the opportunities I have.
To love and care for many people every day.
And notice that I am where I am today, because of decisions I have made.
I need to do what is my responsibility to do.
I know the liberation, of doing things the right way.
I need to make a decision, to finish what I have begun. What is required, before I leave.
Not giving in, but being responsible.
It doesn’t matter who or who does not whisper of my failure.
Lessons learned are completely invaluable. And I was lucky to meet some kind souls along the way.
Maybe those that normally do not get noticed, would miss my kind words. I try to tell someone in my life they are amazing every day.
Either way, it is my time to finish, with grace.

What if I turned and walked right back to the life that is part mine.
And faced the fact that things still need to change.
Because I have a voice, and I have something to say. And it is time that it is heard.
To face a conversation I have been meaning to have for a long long time.
To handle the situation, instead of hiding. To recognize my part.
And place it within the hand of God.
Because I know that I am not selfish, that I am scared.
I think that you are scared of what might happen too.

What if I understood, that I have no idea what the inevitable is.
Not everything has to have an end in sight.
I have always trusted fully, and it has never let me down.
If you take something from me, you needed it more than I did anyways.
You see, I have a hard time often, living in the moments I have. And I act a wee bit crazy when I am feeling weak.
And I tend to get in a habit of knowing what I want. But sometimes I have the eye on the ball and the crowd has gone home.
Know, there is a bit of wisdom that comes with years.
Either way, things will fall into place.

I am not trapped, I am in the middle of coming or going through a door. Either way, I know my heart should be my guide. And I have been carried this far without being dropped on my head. Either way, things will be ok.