Came to Believe

You and my will play tug of war.
My need for independence, completely insatiable at times.
A battle to balance both insanity and peace.
Such a small act, such a simple phrase.
Help me.
But I have never been one for help.
There is such a fine line between
CEO and junkie.
Both have interchangable weaknesses and strengths.
Qualities that permeate in the same breed of a human...
those of us who refuse the middle road.
Failure has been a mentor.
Forced a growth success can never bring.
I can't remember why I have always thought I should never be allowed to feel pain.
I am pretty sure, I myself, made up this requirement.
The minute I begin to listen,
and be silent, I learn.
The minute I stop struggling, I find peace.
But how does one overcome such and inherent behavior?
How does one play by different rules.
I have played the game the same way since the moment I began to think.
How do I trust intangibles?
How do I trust you?
My need for independence is insatiable.
We play tug of war with my will.
please help me to do the next right thing.