Running and Red Lipstick

On my run today I intersected with a trilogy of womanhood.
I was huffing by a barely- eighteen year old in spaghetti straps and pastels,
We both passed a woman dragging an infant seat and diapers out of her car in the driveway.

It made me think…
I remember being the girl in spaghetti straps, just on the brink of becoming an adult.
I also know what it’s like to in between pregnancy and fat.

It made me think about the little black dress..
You know the one, it’s way too short and way too sexy, your hips feel amazing in it when you walk.
The first time I put a black dress on, as a teen, I couldn’t recognize the woman that stood in the mirror.
Too immature to be wearing heels so high.
Sometimes I put that dress on now and forget I have children,
Sometimes I put that dress on now and feel old.

It made me think about our sexuality.
At eighteen, you can’t decipher between a guy being sweet and a guy being a creep.
At thirty, society begins writing you off as unattractive,
Yet I am more amazing in bed now than before, I know what I want.
My grandmother was gorgeous at my cousin’s wedding the year before she passed away.

Womanhood is such a schizophrenic merger of emotion and intelligence.
Of power and feeling worthless.
I have stood in front of 30 people in a suit and heels calling the shots.
I have sat behind my office door, tears rolling down my face, humiliated.

I have laughed with my boys feeling connecting with youthfulness I had never allowed myself to experience in my previous years,
I have been on the brink of child abandonment onset by cluelessness.

I have sat in a circle of women and ripped apart and defended someone’s character in a ten minute span.
Every single one of us will still sell our souls for the attention of an attractive boy.

As I intersected the trilogy of womanhood, I thought about connecting with other women. I long for the days of sunroofs, and bikinis, and cigarettes……..
I giggle that way now putting on a garage sale.

Womanhood is a strange beast of strength and pain and heart and sexuality and wisdom.
I hope that spaghetti straps enjoys the time she has,
I hope new mother realizes she is beautiful,
I hope next weekend at the wedding I will put on my black dress and feel invincible.

I pray that all of us realize how amazingly superb we all are.
Whatever the age, whatever the weight, whatever we do.
I hope all of us have our red lipstick moments,
even if they are few and far between.

I pray that all of us can answer a question faster than anyone else,
find the item that no one else can find,
and give advice that can only be given by us.

As I intersected through the trilogy of womanhood, I , if only for a moment, felt completely content with the woman I was.